I think the saddest part, is that somewhere deep down, I kind of want to go join them in their battle for Middle Earth. Despite the social awkwardness of it all; the complete lack of grooming; and the overabundance of unkempt Metallica hair loosely braided into a ponytail, they are all having fun. And I, I am sitting on a park bench, half watching my kids climb up the metal slide (after the ONE BILLIONTH time I've told them not to), and half dreaming of being child-like and thwacking other kids with homemade Nerf instruments of torture.
But cosplay (costume play) and larping (live action role playing) is just so...weird. I'm trying not to be judgmental. Of all the young people doing dangerous or YOLO-ish things, cosplay kids aren't hurting anyone (other than a random foam tip to eyeball every now and then), so why does their "pretending" seem so odd to me?
|Mortal Kombat? Totally believable. Hopefully they gave lots of fatalities.|
Maybe because years ago I decided that "dress-up" ended on Halloween. I like Star Wars. I loved it at one point. I used to pretend I was Boba Fett and/or Luke Skywalker as a small child, and one year my wife got me one of those really fancy "Ultimate Lightsabers." However, I don't think the Force is a real phenomenon. There's a thin membrane between nerd and zealot, and I decided that a life of enjoying the SW franchise was better than taking an oath of celibacy to become a fanatic.
But, Chris, isn't that an antiquated view of adult dress-up? Many of these larping, costumed heroes are ending up in each other's arms, interlocking their ponytails like they are Na'vi from Avatar, and gasp, having lots of bioluminescent sex.
And that thought keeps a bottle of Pepto Bismo stocked in my cupboard. It makes me sometimes think World War III wouldn't be so bad.
Why so disgusted by it?
No, not disgusted at all. Heck, even I thought Leia Organa was hot in her Jabba slave outfit in 1983, but she's not real. Carrie Fisher is real, but not many Star Wars fans would line up to see her don that infamous bikini today. Leia, Luke, Star Wars, Star Trek, Pokémon, Batman, King Arthur...they're all made up. Great characters with intricate back stories, but less real than your boring boss (whom you've never fantasized about).
So why do I care?
Because we have the TIME and BOREDOM to want to live as fairy tale people. We aren't happy in our own skin. We have to dress up like fake people and pretend to live out their happiness. We want our girlfriends or boyfriends or spouses to be someone with more Hollywood appeal; someone sexier. We want to pretend that other people's lives are more adventurous, exciting, and passionate than our own. And that's a disservice to our significant others, and a disservice to ourselves.
Just image how strange it would be if someone dressed up like YOU, and tried to resimulate key moments of your life, like your wedding (or your wedding night). How insanely weird is that?
|The reason Greedo shot first (not originally) was|
because Han Solo's blaster had to power up with steam.
But please don't do it at the park. I pay a lot of property tax to take my kids there (and thoroughly not enjoy myself while my kids break every common sense safety rule). It's not fair to look over at mostly unemployed adults enjoying my park with fantastical Nerf toys. Plus I'm jealous of your pony tails. I don't know why.
In conclusion to a blog that had no real point, I guess I should be happy. These are the warriors of our times. These larpers are modern day Spartans or Apache warriors or Samurai. When WWIII comes, we will be ready, with Batman, Boba Fett, and Beetlejuice...as long as JoAnn Fabrics is still around, we will be just fine.